I understand sarcasm is hard to distinguish...
brain-food: but my common sense has equipped me long enough to distinguish the difference between “sarcasm” and just being a “flaming asshat who is mayor of asshole island and resides on assfuck street with his friend asinine.”
Nate: You should wear that skirt tomorrow.
Me: No. It's freezing outside, my legs will fall off.
Nate: When it gets warmer then?
Me: I'll think about it.
Nate: No snow, no pants. All grass, all...legs.
Me: No, i don't really think you were...
Nate: Well, the male part of me isn't kidding at all. The respectful, self-restraining gentleman in me is. It's really quite the internal struggle.
nerdasaurus-rex: ravenclawdia: cavaliermatt: Two Libyan fighter pilots were ordered to bomb protestors in Tripoli. Instead they defied orders and flew low level (to avoid Libyan radar detection) across the Mediterranean Sea to Malta and are now seeking asylum. What good pilots. I started reading this thinking it would be another horror story, but then I realized what happened and now I’m...
I was super bored today and decided to watch an episode of Jersey Shore, just to see what all the hype was about. I lasted about 10 min. Good. God. Please excuse me while I go rip out my eyeballs.
The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies...– Slaughterhouse-five, Kurt Vonnegut (via hellogoodbai)
People ask me if there are going to be stories of Harry Potter as an adult....– JK Rowling (via potterchallenge) I WOULD.
pumpkinlub: tilhe: THIS SCENE
When people don't use correct grammar
fuck-yeah-tumblrs-best-posts: This post has been featured on The Best of Tumblr Blog - Found on the blog of http://banselfdoubt.tumblr.com ^ for the gif bro Submitted by trulylovely Follow Now | This is Great! Reblogging just so i can have that gif on my dashboard again.
That awkward moment when you don't know if your...
A slightly delayed post about valentines day.
The curse has been broken. I finally had a valentines day that didn’t end with me spooning with my dog and a tub of ice cream and watching Pride & Prejudice. I didn’t get flowers, or chocolate, or even a card. What I got instead was Nate bursting into the coffee house with no coat on at 11:45 at night looking like he had just run a marathon. He handed me a folded piece of paper,...
To love another person is to see the face of God.
Fuck this, i'm blasting Cosmic Love like a boss.
turnaroundbrighteyes89: At least Bieber didn’t win. GPOY
kolyswis: erikamwest: houseof1000corpses: ...
Whenever I hang out with my best friend
erinastray: When we first see each other: When we make jokes: When we eat food: When we wrestle: When we jam out to our song: And when we have to part: I love my best friend hahahahaha ALL THE TIME! So relevant.